My legs were beginning to cramp as I sat motionless in my hiding place. I tried to slow my breathing, but I could hear my heartbeat drumming in my ears. I wondered if it could be heard in the deafening silence. I felt my calf muscle tighten painfully and as a reaction, I shifted my weight. The sound echoed and it was my fatal mistake… I knew that they heard me, but i didn't have anywhere to go, I was cornered. There was nothing I could do. One of the Hunters went up to me and said:"He's over here, get him!" There was three of them, and they looked reallly tough, even though it pitch black outside I knew they were tough, their shadows were huge. Zaap! everything went black...
I woke up in a strange apartment, it looked like a poor apartment, ripped pillows, and no lights. Someone came into the room. "Room service," a young woman said. "Is everything ok?"
"Emm... Where am I?" I replied.
" You came here last night with a bunch of tough looking guys. One of them was carrying you beacause you were asleep." The young woman said.
" Oh, no I don't remember.. You still didn't tell me where I am." I said. As she was reaching over to grab some dirty clothes of the floor, I noticed a tattoo on her arm. It was the same tatoo that the Hunters had."Who are you?" I said quickly before she could answer. She didn't reply to that, something was wrong, all the sudden she dropped the pile of dirty clothes and she had a knife in her hand....
You still didn't tell me where I am.
ReplyDeleteYou need to put a capital I after the where. I think your story was really good.
NO IT ISN'T RUBEN!
DeleteThere was three of them, and they looked reallly tough, even though it pitch black outside I knew they were tough, there shadows were huge. Zaap! everything went black...
YOU NEED A "was" BETWEEN "it" AND "pitch"
" Oh, no I don't remember.. You still didn't tell me where I am." I said. As she was reaching over to grab some dirty clothes of the floor, i noticed a tatoo on her arm.
DeleteYOU FORGOT TO PUT A CAPITAL ON I (BESIDE) NOTICED AND , FLOOR
tatoo
DeleteITS TATTOO NOT TATOO
I knew they were tough, there shadows were huge. Zaap! everything went black...
DeleteHEY RUBEN YOU NEED TO SPELL "There" LIKE THIS "their"
" You came here last night with a bunch of of tough looking guys.
DeleteONLY ONE "OF" RUBEN
Fixed
Delete