My legs were beginning to cramp as I sat motionless in my hiding place. I tried to slow my breathing, but I could hear my heartbeat drumming in my ears. I wondered if it could be heard in the deafening silence. I felt my calf muscle tighten painfully and as a reaction, I shifted my weight.
The sound echoed and it was my fatal mistake.
My follower homed in on my position as if there were a huge purple flag above me.His steps caused loud echoes that made it difficult to judge his distance.I had to make a move before he got too close. Energy surged to my legs as I leaped out from behind my cover. The light pouring out of the cave's mouth made a dark outline of my follower. He raised his arms and lunged towards me with outstanding speed that seemed to fast for any normal person. Luckily I'm not anywhere near normal.
I threw my hand in front of me sending a beam of blue/green energy at my follower. It was just enough to throw him out of the cave. I stumbled towards the mouth of the cave half hoping that I would see my opposition laying in the bottom of a forceful crater but all that remained was black/red smudges where my follower should have been. there was no point trying to track him so I made off towards our camp.
Surely my father had held off the three soldiers that had been with my follower. "Are you ok?" my father said in a gruff but sturdy tone.
"I was about to ask you the same," I replied.
"Nah those so called soldiers were a bunch of wimps," replied my father.
I smiled at his words, everyone was a wimp compared to my father. He was nearly 7 feet high with legs like tree trunks. His dark grey beard was just about the only thing that made him look his age. That and his voice it was enough to make about half of our foes cower but if that didn't do the trick his long sword definitely would. It was passed down through our family Ever since my great great grandfather forged it. It was a shade of burnt gold that sparkled yellow at the right angle. With nothing else was said so we both prepared our tents.
A couple hours past midnight a small bump woke me up. My father was still in his tent so I quickly pulled out my sword. There was a slight hint of pink in the pitch black sky it made a faint glow that helped my make out the figure of a small bushy tailed creature.
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ReplyDeleteSurely my father had held off the three soldiers that had been with my follower. "Are you ok?" ,my father said in a gruff but sturdy tone.
Delete"I was about to ask you the same." ,I replied.
YOU NEED TO SPACE IT OUT, AND YOU HAVE RANDOM COMAS AFTER SOMEONE WAS TALKING.
I liked your story,it was very creative and I wasn't able to find any mistakes.
ReplyDelete"legs like tree trunks" I liked how you compared stuff.
You also need a title.
Deletethe deafening silence. I felt my calf muscle tighten painfully and as a reaction, I shifted my weight.
DeleteThe sound echoed and it was my fatal mistake.
THERE SHOULD BE A SPACE INRONT OF THE SOUND.
I stumbled towards the mouth of the cave half hoping that i would see my opposition laying in the bottom of a forceful crater but all that remained was black/red smudges where my follower should have been.
DeleteTHE i WAS SUPPOSED TO BE SPELLED IN CAPITALS.
FIXED
Delete